Not Your Everyday Eagles ‘Best-of’ List

Welcome back to “Ranking the Eagles”! It has been a while since my last post on this topic. Here, I will rank all 6 Eagles albums from the 1970s, as well as the songs on each album. Rankings are based on my opinions only, with no sales figures, chart positions, or mainstream popularity holding weight. This week features my fifth favorite album of their 1970s output- good ol’ Hotel California.

Say WHAT? Hotel California only ranks at number FIVE?

#Yup.

Hotel California (1976): A Primer

Hotel California was the fifth studio album released by the Eagles in December 1976. To many, this particular album is considered to be a showcase of the band at the peak of their creative output. Hotel was released at a time of great band discord and lineup changes and also was the first Eagles album without multi-instrumental genius and founding member Bernie Leadon. Leadon had left shortly after dumping a beer on Eagle Führer Glenn Frey’s head (likely in frustration) the previous year.

Though to be honest, I’m pretty certain Bernie likely wasn’t the only bird in the flock who was teetering at his wits’ end ’round that time.

While HC is the first Eagles record with Joe Walsh aboard as a full-fledged Eagle (yay!), sadly, it was also the last Eagles album to feature the angelic-voiced, genius-level talents of founding bassist Randy Meisner as well (boo!). Meisner’s presence on Hotel California is significantly diminished from his thumbprint on prior albums, especially their previous offering, the far-superior One of These Nights (1975). In retrospect, Randy’s lack of presence on HC ended up to be a foreshadowing of his eventual exit from the band, his sole compositional offering on Hotel California, the gorgeous ballad ‘Try and Love Again,’ his swan song.

Why Only #5?

Hotel California is a concept album, similar to Desperado (1973) released just a few years prior. Lyrically, HC IS incredible; there is no denying that. Additionally, HC’s concept of the “exploration of the dark underbelly of the American dream, et al.” (as stated by Don Henley) was innovative as hell at the time.

However, the songs on Hotel California could pretty much be classified as 70% schmaltz and 30% rock. Personally, I find that unacceptable, especially since Hotel was the first Eagles album with Joe Walsh onboard as full-fledged Eagle. With Walsh in the band, how this offering rocked LESS than any of the group’s four previous records, baffles me. The lack of high-energy rock tunes, along with Randy Meisner’s diminished presence on the album, is a double disappointment to me, indeed.

Also…

One other thing that bugs me about Hotel California? 

It. Is. Not. An. Album.

There are only EIGHT SONGS ON THE WHOLE DAMN RECORD. And NO, I do NOT count ‘Wasted Time (Reprise)’ as its own separate track, #sorrynotsorry.

A reprise is not a new song. It’s filler. End credits. #NOPE.

Heck, it’s the literal definition of ‘Wasted Time’! 😂😂

Jussayin.

Hotel California’s Tracks, Ranked Worst to Best

So without further adieu, here are my rankings of the eight tracks on Hotel California from least to greatest. Enjoy!

The 1976 Eagles are:
Don Felder: guitars, backing vocals
Glenn Frey: guitars, backing vocals, keyboards, lead vocals
Don Henley: drums, percussion, lead vocals, backing vocals, synthesizer
Randy Meisner: bass, backing vocals, lead vocals, guitarrón
Joe Walsh: guitars, keyboards, backing vocals, lead vocals

#8: Pretty Maids All In A Row

Written by: Joe Walsh, Joe Vitale
Lead Vocal: Walsh

While Hotel California (1976) does not have any outright terrible songs, this song comes closest. Yet, it was also written and sung by my second favorite Eagle, Joe Walsh! Oh, no, say it ain’t so! For the legendary Walsh-Vitale songwriting team, who penned such hits as ‘Rocky Mountain Way,’ to choose THIS as Walsh’s first Eagles contribution?

I don’t get it.

Thankfully, Walsh does redeem himself later on.

Positives? The lyrics are lovely. And I must admit that watching a newly-sober Walsh perform this song during the 1994 Hell Freezes Over tour is inspiring AF.

But it’s definitely the worst track on Hotel California. Sorry, Joe.

Here is the studio version:

#7: The Last Resort

Written by: Don Henley, Glenn Frey
Lead Vocal: Henley

OK. First off, I’ll admit that if the musical composition of ‘The Last Resort’ were less schmaltzy, the song would be A LOT higher up on my list. Truly, Don Henley outdoes himself lyrically here. A wickedly talented songwriter, Henley possesses sky-high intelligence and an admirable work ethic. In a way, he kind of reminds me of myself.

However, Henley is also a boss-level cantankerous curmudgeon. I would not want to be on his s**t list-that would be terrifying. However…

I simply cannot make it through the whole 7 minutes and 25 seconds of ‘The Last Resort.’ At times, I’ve legitimately forgotten I was listening to music when this tune has been playing nearby. It just does not stand out in my mind but at ALL.

The theme of ‘The Last Resort,’ though? How man inevitably destroys the places he finds beautiful? Perfect. Incredible. Genius. And in 1976, completely and totally innovative.

Below, the studio version:

#6: Victim of Love

Written by: Don Felder, Henley, Frey, J.D. Souther
Lead Vocal: Henley

‘Victim of Love’ is one of the few songs on Hotel California that actually does rock, likely because it was composed by the other Don in the band, Don Felder. According to legend, Don Felder was initially supposed to sing on this track for his one token lead vocal on Hotel California. However, Don Henley does not hold back about Felder’s singing ability on the History of the Eagles documentary. He states that after Felder’s multiple attempts to record his vocals,

“It simply didn’t come up to band standards.”

Ouch.

So, Irving Azoff took Felder out to dinner so that Henley could record HIS vocals for the track. And Henley’s version wound up on the record.

Double Ouch.

While the backstory of ‘Victim of Love’ is quite entertaining, the song itself? Not so much. Therefore, I have ranked it at #6, though boy, would I love to hear the 1976 version with Felder singing lead one day.

Unfortunately, I doubt such gloriousness still exists.

Here is the only version of this song I could find online. From the Staples Center, Los Angeles on 12/31/99:

#5: New Kid In Town

Written by: Henley, Frey, Souther
Lead Vocal: Frey

This track legitimately baffles me, in that I don’t get why it is so beloved. It’s a good song, no doubt. However, the critical acclaim it’s received over the years makes me go hmmm. ‘New Kid’ hit number one on the Billboard chart in early 1977, which, to me, is just CRAZY. Seriously, DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO HIT NUMBER ONE ON THE BILLBOARD CHART IN THE 1970s?

One interesting factoid about the song is that my beloved Randy Meisner plays an instrument called the ”Guitarrón Mexicano” (translation: “Big Mexican Guitar.” Not joking.). What is a guitarrón, you ask? According to Wikipedia, its a “very large, deep-bodied Mexican six-string acoustic bass played traditionally in Mariachi groups.”

So, now you know. Wish I had some footage of Meisner wailing on that thing, but alas, I do not. I bet he looked damn good playing it, though.

Below, the studio version:

#4: Life In The Fast Lane

Written by: Walsh, Frey, Henley
Lead Vocal: Henley

‘Life in the Fast Lane’ possesses one of the greatest guitar riffs ever recorded, which I learned on the History of the Eagles documentary actually began as an exercise Joe Walsh utilized to loosen up his fingers before rehearsing.

Because what did ya think Walsh did to warm-up? Play scales? Pssh.

Regarding this track, I have to give props to the brilliance of Mr. Glenn Frey. Frey truly had an incredible talent for crafting real-life experiences into song. Besides being the one to notice Joe Walsh’s badass guitar riff, Glenn’s own past experience riding in a drug dealer’s speeding car stacked with enough cocaine to kill a T. Rex served as the inspiration for this high-energy ode to living your drug-fueled excessive best life. These aren’t as much Henley’s words as Frey’s, whose lyrical stamp is all over this track.

‘Life In The Fast Lane’ is also the type of instrumental composition I would expect from Joe Walsh. It redeems him a little after the schmaltz-fest of ‘Pretty Maids All In A Row’ too.

Below, the studio version:

#3: Wasted Time

Written by: Henley, Frey
Lead Vocal: Henley

Honestly, I never paid this song much mind before I began writing this post last year (yeah, I know. Sometimes good things take time, ok?). At first, ‘Wasted Time’ started off down near the bottom of the song list for Hotel California; I think initially, I had it ranked #6 or even #7.

Because sigh, another Henley ballad.

Then, I listened to the song.

And listened to it.

And listened to it once more. Soon enough, I was singing along with Mr. Henley in my car, as if an audience of screaming fans were out in front of me rather than the county road leading to my 4-year old daughter’s then-preschool.

HOLY F THIS SONG IS INCREDIBLE!!

“Mama, I like your voice,” S4 tells me.

“Thank you, baby,” I reply.

Below, you’ll find the studio version of ‘Wasted Time.’ Toward the end, when the other Eagles begin their four-part backing harmony of crescendoing ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ for Henley to croon atop, with the angelic falsetto of Randy Meisner filling out the higher-octaves of the vocal rainbow like an avalanche of perfectly round, pink, sundae cherries…

That’s what Heaven sounds like, folks. I’m sure of it.

Behold:

#2: Try And Love Again

Written by: Randy Meisner
Lead Vocal: Randy Meisner

Sigh. My favorite Eagle takes his curtain call, and in the most beautiful, glorious way possible. Randy Meisner’s lone contribution to Hotel California is one of his greatest musical and lyrical compositions ever, and would likely be the #1 track on almost any other Eagles album.

By this point, Randy, a founding Eagle, had finally had enough of the insanity and likely had already decided to jump ship. Though I am pretty sure that it was more than simple irritation with Don Henley and Glenn Frey that drove Meisner out of a band he helped start. Instead, I feel there were probably ‘other’ very substantial factors pulling Randy away from the biggest band on Earth during the apex of their cooperative existence.

Hmmm. What could they possibly be…??

Just listen to Randy’s final Eagles composition. He’ll tell you.

Below, the studio version:

#1: Hotel California

Written by: Felder, Henley, Frey
Lead Vocal: Henley

What can I say that hasn’t already been said about ‘Hotel California’? Probably not much. So instead of rehashing what most already know about this musical masterpiece, I’ll just let you enjoy the three different video versions listed below. Immediately following, I’ve posted a Spotify playlist of the entire Hotel California album for your listening enjoyment as well.

First, here is the studio version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-K8FuaGzqUU

Next, enjoy the original 1977 music video with the beautiful, harmonious “Seven Bridges Road” intro:

Finally, here is the “History of The Eagles” cleaned up version of the 1977 video (without ‘7 Bridges.’) New views of the band, and overall a much clearer picture. This clip looks like it could have been filmed yesterday, actually, rather than just over 42 years ago:

Thanks for reading! Until next time!