Twas a horrendous week last week, beginning with a traffic-filled, chock-full-o-illness, fear-inducing Election Day last Tuesday, and ending with gray skies and torrential rainfall this past Tuesday. In short, last Tuesday-Tuesday sucked.

Yes, Axl. I do need some time on my own.

Election Day-last Tuesday pretty much consisted of one crappy incident after another. In fact, plucking 3 highlights out of last Tuesday-Tuesday is going to be a definite challenge, because as of right now, I got nothin.’ Lowlights, however, I got plenty! Sigh. Here is to a better week this week. I gotta believe that.

This small town girl will NOT stop believin,’ Steve Perry.

Though I usually start with 3 highlights, I am at a loss for any possibilities in that area at the current moment. Therefore, I’m going with the yucky stuff first.

Lowlight #1

Last week was chock full o’ fun fun fun traffic jams. On Election Day, there was no school for students in my district. Faculty peeps, however, did have school. We were required to attend different meetings and collaboration sessions held all day long…..in the same building. Now, my school district isn’t small. Yet, every K-6 faculty member of my district was dismissed at exactly the same time, from the same place. Guess what the parking lot looked like, after that mad dash for the door?

But wait! I’ve got another fun traffic story! The following Monday, I woke up to two friends posting on my Facebook timeline that the bridge I take to work was closed (thanks Jen and Karen!). Though it did open shortly after I received those messages, with residual traffic, I arrived at work with about 5 minutes to spare before kids walked into my classroom. After I was up until 2 am the night before, lesson planning and looking over S10’s Reflections contest essay. This led to complete, total, and utter Monday exhaustion.

Oh, Jackson, you don’t even know. 

Lowlight #2

OK, I’ll just say it. I was not happy with the results of the presidential election, and that’s a huge understatement. I never thought Adolf SprayTan would ever be elected as our nation’s leader, thus his upset victory came as a complete shock. He wouldn’t win. He couldn’t win! Oops, he did win. How wrong I was. How wrong we all were.

Lately, my Facebook posts have reflected a significant quantity of anger and frustration on my part regarding the election, the electoral college, the scary-ass executive appointments that get worse and worse each day, and the smug conservatives admonishing non-DT voters like me with wonderfully sensitive rhetoric such as “get over it.” Nice. Easy to say from a holier-than-thou perch in their effing cisgender, heterosexual, Caucasian, patriarchal safe spaces…..yeah, I am pretty sure that I’m pissing people off daily. Knowing that I’m upsetting folks while drowning in my own worries about what’s to come with this new administration, is literally making me nauseous on a daily basis. And THAT is a definite sign that I should take a political ranting time-out on social media.

My new identity. In theory.

Honestly, I really don’t want to lose friends over this election. Therefore, starting this week, I have been attempting to keep my Facebook timeline clear of political rants, memes, or digs regarding President-elect Grabby Orangina. So far? My success rate has hovered around…not-so-great. I am trying, however. I’ve got a peaceful, easy, apolitical feeling, at least outwardly, some of the time. Just like the Eagles song! Kinda.

I’m tryin,’ boys. Thanks for helping me through this, though…..been listening to y’all a lot lately. 

Lowlight #3: Part 1: S2 Sick

To add to CrapFest Week 2016, S2 and S10 both developed unique ailments on Election Day, or “the last day of relative governmental optimism for the next 4 trips ’round the sun.” (Damn! I am really failing at this ‘new, ‘neutral’ persona.) First S2, on Tuesday at swim class informed me that no, she did NOT want to go in the pool. I found that admission from her pretty odd, especially considering that she LOVES the class. Along with the resistance to swim, S2’s demeanor was a fun combination of angry, weepy, and clingy. Upon closer inspection, I was able to figure out why. With droopy eyes, red dots forming around her mouth, and bumps starting to appear on her hands….my poor baby was obviously not well.

The following day, S2 was diagnosed with an ear infection, a yeast infection, and impetigo. (Apparently I have been pronouncing impetigo incorrectly all week, I learned on Monday. Its pronounced im-pet-TEE-go, not im-PET-ih-go. So I’ve also sounded like a big dummy all week long as well. Joy!).

The Rx for S2 was as follows: no preschool or Tumblebus for the week (Mike stayed home with her as his work schedule is more flexible than mine). Also, multiple applications of two different creams daily and an oral antibiotic twice a day for 10 consecutive days. Poor thing.

This song makes me cry. I love my baby girl so much and this song pretty much nails it (except the first line. WTF is that about? Ignore the first line).

Lowlight #3, Part 2: S10 Broken.

Then on that same Tuesday, poor S10 fractured her tailbone. I kid you not. You cannot make this stuff up! Below left, the four culprits.

S10 is the picture of beauty and grace, yet she also has a clumsy, awkward side (inherited from Mike or me…or both).

Over the past two months, S10 has fallen and landed on her tailbone no less than four times. Once, distracted, she fell down a couple of

stairs at home, once she slipped on wet grass at soccer practice, once she fell at cheer practice, and last Tuesday, she was on the monkey bars at recess and another kid walked directly in front of her. To avoid kicking the kid, S10 let go of the bar she was holding and fell to the ground. That was the fall that ended up finally fracturing her poor, tortured tailbone.

The next day, S10 asked to skip cheer because she felt sore. On Thursday, the same thing. Since S2, S10 and I had Friday off, after 3 days of tailbone pain, I figured she should get checked out at the pediatrician’s office.

After a doctor visit and an x-ray, the follow-up call informed us that yes, S10 fractured her tailbone. Ugh. The Rx for this? 4-6 weeks of no gym, recess or cheer, and the poor girl has to carry a friggin inflatable cushion to sit on both at school and at home. It actually looks like a giant cherry LifeSaver, as you can see in the photo. Sometimes looking at that pillow makes my mouth water a little, I ain’t even gonna lie.

Since a 4-6 week absence from cheer is a long time for a team to be without one of their key flyers, S10, sadly, had to quit cheerleading for this year. We were all sad about this, as we really liked her new cheer gym. S10 really felt horrible about having to quit, claiming to feel she was “letting the team down.” When Mike and S10 showed up at practice to break the news to her coach, S10 ended up bursting into tears. Yeah, that sucked.

Such beautiful lyrics, and very appropriate to dedicate to the person who made me a mother. Love my big girl to pieces.

Highlight #1

Here’s one highlight I thought of. By Tuesday the 15th, both of my girls were feeling much better! S2 had returned to preschool, and S10 had only forgotten to bring her special pillow to school one time (Mike brought it to her that morning. We won’t bring, say, her forgotten homework to school, but this? Yeah. Though S10 did get a small “responsibility lecture” that evening, of course.)

Highlight #2

Here is another positive I can recall. S10 was quite upset about the election result like I was. I’m sure many people out there think that’s MY fault too, because yeah, I’ve read those same parent-blaming articles regarding kids getting upset about the election. However, those perfect writer-sanctimommies do not know my daughter at all, so their judgments, to me, are invalid. My S10 is an independent thinker, more of a feminist than even I am, and she fiercely believes that all people deserve equal treatment no matter their gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. Honestly, if her beliefs are considered my fault, GOOD. I take that as the highest compliment.

Regarding the election, S10 CHOSE to watch the presidential debates. In fact, she was the only one in our family who watched them! (Mike and I were too disgusted to bother, and S2 is too young, obviously). Should I have told her not to? “Sorry honey, no current events for you tonight. Go watch your silly YouTubers instead like a good little ignoramus.” Yeah-#nope.

S10 and I are actually big Bernie Sanders fans. I enthusiastically voted for him in the Democratic primary and was disappointed when he didn’t win. Not disappointed enough to vote for that racist, lying, misogynistic walking toupee, however. After a while, Hillary had grown on me, actually. My family was definitely ‘With Her,’ though initially, Mike, S10 and I were ‘Feelin’ the Bern.’

My family lives in a very conservative town, wallpapered with Trump lawn signs this election season. At school, S10 is a ray of blue light in a red sea of Children of the Trump Faithful. On That Day, The Dawning Debut of Dystopia (Wednesday, November 9th, to laypeople), on my way out the door, while bidding S10 goodbye, I added: “don’t let anybody pick on you today.” She knew exactly what I meant.

S10 replied, “Oh, no. I’m wearing my ‘Feel the Bern’ shirt today, whether anyone likes it or not.”

She did, too. And I couldn’t have been more proud.

Highlight #3

The impending transfer of power to a terrifyingly alt-right, Nazi-esque, ‘new, but not improved,’ wtf-was-America-thinking dictatorship uh, make that executive branch-elect of our government aside, I still have my family.

And nobody can take that away from me.

Here is to a better week this week. Happy Thanksgiving! Godspeed to us all.