Oh Summer, How I Will Miss Thee…

This week, the lazy days of my treasured summer vacation came to a close. The first ‘official’ day of school looms ahead next Wednesday for S11, and …for me.

Boo! Hissss…

BUT…

On the bright side, I’ve had an absolutely amazing summer! And though I’m sad to see it end, all good things… seem to do that. Such is life, amirite?

So today, on this pre-Labor Day Friday, the official last Friday of summer break here in NY (for 3 out of 4 of us here, anyway), I have decided to post an extended recap of my top three favorite summer moments for your reading pleasure. To avoid a ridiculously long, rambling post, however, said recap will consist of three separate posts, starting with this one.

Happy Reading!

My Summer Highlights: A 3 Part Journey

Here is what I’ll be sharing wittcha over the next 3 posts:

Highlight #1: (Today) Mike and I, with the help of my father and his mother aka “the grandparents,” all pitched in and threw two fabulous birthday parties this summer. On the SAME DAY. Yep, that’s right! One party for S3 turning 3, and the other, for S11 turning… 11. Some stressful moments coupled with zero sleep the night before notwithstanding, I’d say that overall, Dual Birthday Party Day ended up to be quite the success!

Highlight #2: (Early Next Week) Not only did S11 and I get to witness 6 legendary bands live in concert over two fun-filled days at the Classic East at Citi Field in NYC, but we also stayed overnight in the Chinatown section of Flushing, Queens, which ended up being a total blast! Oh, and did I mention that one of the 6 bands we saw happened to be Eagles, my favorite band of all-time? Along with Fleetwood Mac, Journey, The Doobie Brothers, Earth, Wind, and Fire, and Steely Dan?

Though the Eagles lineup S11 and I saw last month was not my favorite Eagles lineup of all-time (that would be the group of 5 above), it still was a FANTASTIC show.

Highlight #3: (Late Next Week) Our family of four took a mini-vacation in mid-August to Lake George, NY. We loved (almost) every moment of it, too! I mean, Six Flags Great Escape Theme Park! Mini-Golf! The Beach! Trying to coax a 3 year old to go the F to sleep in an unfamiliar hotel room! Yeah, that was the part that wasn’t so fun.

Two Birthday Parties, One Day. And I Survived to Tell The Tale.

Folks thought I was crazy to attempt it. But, not only did I attempt it, I did it and did it pretty darn well. So did Mike. And Grandma. And Grandpa.

We threw TWO successful birthday parties in One. Damn. Day!

S11 and S3 are exactly 8 years, 1 week apart in age. Which, according to S11, is too big of an age gap for a joint birthday party (plus, she dislikes sharing her spotlight, and that’s straight #truth). Totally, I understand where she’s coming from with this. I do. However…

I HATE THROWING PARTIES.

I’m just not the Hostess with the Mostess, by any stretch, nor do I have any desire to be. I have come to accept this as fact, and it ain’t gonna change.

So, does that mean I was resigned to devoting two separate weekends to birthday party planning/throwing/hosting? I’d honestly rather eat glass than do it twice, thus an alternative to the hellish two separate weekend idea was sorely needed.

Finally, it came to me in a moment of brilliance.

I’d schedule S3’s party from 10 am-12 pm, and S11’s shindig from 1 pm-4 pm on the same exact Saturday. Two parties, one day. DONE. YES! We had a plan.

Same Day Party: Pros

–One-stop food pickup.

I had to go the pizza place, the Mac and Cheese place, and the doughnut shop only once (in lieu of a cake, the girls each had a pyramid of doughnuts). Less errands to run = Happy Mama.

–One-stop setup.

 

Our backyard became a summer party paradise. For the little ones, we had a playhouse, a water table, a sandbox, a ride-on Jeep, a sprinkler set, two mini pools, a swing set, a small bouncy house, and lots of bubble-blowing apparati, along with various other outdoor toys. The preschool set was… set.

 

For the pre-teens, the mini pools were large enough to accommodate most of the girls that came. The ladies also had a bouncy house/slide combo, which was a PIA to rent as well as not what we originally wanted nor ordered. Yeah, I almost choked one party-rental company owner dude that day, and that’s not hyperbole in the least. More on that later.

-One stop spending. 

Together, the two parties probably cost around $800, including the mini pools, sprinkler set, small bouncy house, and much of the bubble blower stuff. The bouncy house/slide combo rental was a big chunk of the budget at around $300, and all the food we served (pre-teen girls eat a lot! I was impressed) was another significant chunk. It definitely added up to more than I would have wanted to spend, but at least I only had to “make it rain, party-style” ONCE.

-One stop “day to party,” then DONE. 

Knowing I didn’t have to throw another party for at least a full year kept me motivated all the live long day, I ain’t gon lie.

Same Day Party: Cons

-Two parties in one day = a LOT of money spent. 

It was the beginning of the summer, when I always have the oh-so-wrong illusion that I’m rich. I always forget in June/early July that my summer check needs to last until September 15. Currently it is September 1… and now, of course, we’re as broke as Donald Trump’s Secret Service will be by Thanksgiving. But just like every year, we will make it. We always do.

-Two parties in one day = STRESSFUL.

For each party, we planned to rent a water slide: a large slide for S11’s party, and a small one for S3’s. Now, the night before the party, it rained pretty hard. Mr. Water Slide Rental Company Owner Jackass Jerry (not his real name) didn’t think to call nor tell us at any point during the month between reservation and execuation that if it rained when he planned to deliver, he…. might not deliver, so we, duh, expected him to deliver.

Apparently, that’s not how he does business, however.

After 5 panicked voicemail messages from Mike, Ward The Water Slide Weather Wimp Weasel (same guy, new name) FINALLY called us back to inform us that sorry, he wasn’t coming to deliver this evening. Or night. Or today, actually.

SAY WHAT?

Oh, and he told us only that he MIGHT come tomorrow. Because of the weather forecast predicting a 40%-60% chance of thunderstorms coupled with a need to, in his words, “protect his investment.”

WAIT, WHAT THE ACTUAL F?

An A-hole of a Higher Order, I never another one did see (well, aside from our POS POTUS).

Upon receiving the wonderful news that the main event of the two birthday parties I was throwing hinged on a Trump supporter’s MAYBE, I then did what any reasonable mother would do in a similar situation.

I began screaming various profanity-laced sentiments at Sir Party Rental SlidePutz Pete (same guy) in the background as Mike attempted, while plugging his ears, to politely, yet firmly coax Lieutenant Assface McWaterSlide Simon (same… oh you get the point) to deliver the goods, as to not disappoint both of our daughters.

Long story short: Sergeant Slide McStupidSucks Seymour (yep) did show up the next day, which ended up mercifully rain-free. Mike and I ended up cancelling S3’s slide that morning, however, as the night before, I pretty much bought everything 5 different Walmart stores had to offer in the outdoor toys category. I needed to ensure that the preschoolers would be entertained for S3’s entire 2-hour party, as I knew from experience that bored preschoolers can quickly become walking, talking, tiny little bundles of Hell, straight from the teat of Satan.

So, Mr. TrumpLump Slide Rental JerkFace Joe did show up, yes, but not without more drama! First, he arrived like 30 minutes before S11’s party started, or about four hours after he told Mike he was leaving. He lives 30 minutes away, mind you.

AND…. HE BROUGHT THE WRONG GD SLIDE.

IT WASN’T EVEN A WATER SLIDE!! 

I was so glad I was out running an errand when he arrived, because I may have ended up in jail for murder if I were home and had to deal with this. WHAT A HORRENDOUS BUSINESS OWNER. S11 did opt to keep his weak-ass non-water bouncy house/slide for the day, because having something to play on was, of course, better than having nothing to play on, but… that also meant we had to give this guy money, which did not make me happy. At all.

Final Question: For the win, do you think Captain Bouncy Rental No-Brains offered us any sort of monetary discount for all the trouble and stressed he caused us repeat customers?

-Two parties in one day = A CRAP TON OF PREPARATION.

I legit didn’t sleep the night before party day… at all. Truly, seeking outdoor equipment for two subsets of children across 5 different Walmarts in New GD Jersey after sunset… will steal a night of rest away from a mom on a mission, right quick.

Which leads me to my final con:

-Two parties in one day = EXHAUSTION. 

Nuff’ said.

So How’d It Go?

In the end, water slide drama aside, both parties were a hit! Thankfully, the rain stayed away, both girls had fun, and they loved all the gifts they received. At S3’s bash, I even got to hang out and catch up with some of my Mama Tribe, too!

At S11’s bash, it made me smile to see that my pre-teen has chosen just the nicest, sweetest, most respectful girls to be her friends and I truly hope that never changes. For S11’s entire 3-hour party, all of the girls, without being asked to, made sure to include one very curious, intrusive S3 in everything they did. Truly, it made my heart melt to watch. Another compliment I had for the older bunch was that all the girls were pretty much smartphone-free for the entire three hours as well. I was, indeed, impressed!

Finally, at 4 pm, the last guest was picked up, which signaled the end to Dual Birthday Party Day.

Translation: For at least the next year, my hosting duties were over. DOOONE!

Woot! Holla! NAPTIME!

 

 

For your listening, um, pleasure, check out S11’s Spotify party playlist below! It’s an… eccletic mix of music, to say the least. Actually, I like a lot of it, which is pretty promising considering the generation gap, amirite? My daughter is pretty damn badass, I have to say.

Speaking of music, stay tuned for part 2 of My Summer Highlights 2017. Truly, I couldn’t have asked for a more fabulous, memorable getaway experience with my oldest gal than the weekend we attended the Classic East 2-day concert at Citi Field last July. Check back early next week for the post!

And thanks for reading! Until next time!